Marriage Counseling: All You Need to Know
Falling in love, watching your relationship grow, and getting married can all be wonderful experiences, but relationships come with challenges. Unfortunately, it’s the long-term of a marriage that can be hard on a relationship. Raising children, financial stress, long hours at the office, personal struggles — just learning how to navigate the ups and downs of life together can take a toll on any relationship. Marriage counseling can help.
Recent research estimates that more than 40% of marriages will end in divorce. It’s true that some marriages just weren’t meant to be. Couples can grow apart, or they might realize that they’re incompatible. The truth, however, is that many marriages end because they don’t have the right tools to manage their problems.
Marriage counseling allows couples to work through their issues with the help of a trained professional. Does marriage counseling work? Are there different types of counseling? You’ll find answers to all your questions about counseling below.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling focuses on relationships and marriages. It’s also commonly referred to as couples therapy or marriage therapy. Marriage counselors are trained and certified to help couples diagnose relationship problems and develop practical solutions.
Therapy will be a safe place for couples to talk about how they really feel. Open communication is vital when it comes to solving marital problems, and marriage counseling (or even premarital counseling) is one of the best ways to improve communication skills, come to mutual understandings, and figure out how to move forward as a couple — or amicably end a marriage, if that is the right choice for the couple.
Marriage counseling aims to give couples the tools they need to understand each other and resolve conflicts. While couples often turn to relationship counseling during turmoil, it’s beneficial at any relationship stage. Marriage counselors can help couples with issues such as:
- Resolving financial disputes
- Learning how to communicate in a relationship
- Improving conflict resolution
- Identifying and addressing issues affecting the relationship
- Working on trust issues in a relationship
- Recapturing the spark or building intimacy
- Overcoming infidelity in a relationship
- Addressing disagreements about parenting styles
- Saving a marriage to avoid divorce
- Finding a healthy way to end a relationship
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Marital counseling research is promising. Studies by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) note that:
- More than 98% of couples who try marriage counseling report that therapy sessions are either “excellent” or “good”
- Of couples who try marriage counseling, 90% say emotional health has improved
- Two-thirds say they’ve seen improvements in their physical health after seeking counseling
Many couples find marriage therapy effective, but counseling can be effective whether you’ve been together for 2 months or 20 years. Studies suggest that communication issues, such as poor conflict management or a lack of positive communication, frequently lead to relationship problems. Counseling can help resolve these issues before significant disputes happen.
Research also shows that counseling can help couples with serious issues — one study compared couples who sought therapy after infidelity to relationships that didn’t. Unsurprisingly, the couples seeking professional help reported a higher increase in relationship satisfaction. Marriage counseling can be very effective when couples are committed to the process.
Who Should Seek Marriage Counseling?
Even though it’s called “marriage counseling,” as we’ve established, counseling isn’t just for people who’ve already tied the knot. There aren’t major differences in the techniques used with couples therapy vs. marriage counseling. Anyone can seek therapy, regardless of the status of their relationship. People who can benefit from marriage counseling include:
- Straight couples
- LGBT couples
- Engaged couples
- Couples that are dating
- Couples in long-distance relationships
- Couples in open relationships
- Couples who’ve separated
Again, there are no restrictions as to why you might consider marriage counseling. Any issue you can’t solve on your own might benefit from therapy. A licensed, objective, unbiased perspective often helps, usually in just a few sessions.
Keep in mind you can seek therapy for specific issues a relationship is facing. For example, online LGBTQ therapy can benefit couples facing problems in their relationship that are unique to the LGBTQIA+ community.
Other issues couples may seek counseling for include those who feel like:
- They just repeat the same disagreement or fight and can’t find a solution
- They disagree about finances, parenting, or lifestyle choices
- Household chores and responsibilities aren’t equal, and they want to figure out how to communicate better
- They’ve lost romantic or sexual chemistry
- Their relationship is “on auto-pilot”
- They’re unheard or unseen in the relationship, or their partner is emotionally unavailable
- They’ve experienced trauma or loss and are having trouble processing it
- Dealing with mental health struggles, infidelity, or substance abuse is affecting their relationship
While most partners can benefit from therapy, couples counseling may not be recommended for people in abusive relationships. If you or someone you love is struggling with any form of abuse, seek individual therapy and help immediately.